My 3 Words for 2023

Fail. Downsize. Visualize.

These are the words I’ve chosen to guide me through the challenges of the next 12 months. They are “My 3 Words” for 2023.

The “My 3 Words” exercise, started by Chris Brogan in 2006, is for me an attempt to build some consistent practices into life. 

My three words for 2022 — attached by sticky note to my desk lamp — were schedule, teach and push. 

“Schedule” was a lost cause. I was able to apply “teach” in a few activities over the year. And there were times when it was useful to see “push” as I struggled to get through a few projects.

But let’s focus on the new year.

First Word: Fail

I was a good student, but when it comes to some things, I’m a slow learner.

Let’s talk about failure.

Modern wisdom suggests that one of the best ways to learn is to fail.

Uhhh, no.

That really wasn’t an option. 

In school, for example, it was not OK to fail. I don’t need to tell you about that. Failure was so disparaged in my family that Mom would not permit me to try out for the baseball team after I earned a lowly C in 9th-grade geometry. (First C ever. Ironically, my geometry teacher was the baseball coach).

Consequences of Failure

The message was clear. Failure (heck, even “average”) had negative consequences.

Later as a journalist, failure to correctly spell a name or the commission of some other errors were grounds for newsroom shaming, and too many errors meant losing your job. Throughout my career, failures could mean reprimands, poor employee reviews and even confusion.

The consequences of failure chip away at your ego, and debris clogs your soul like too much cholesterol in an artery. Fear lingers and finally envelopes you, paralyzing you lest you fail at anything you try.

This year, I’m calling BS on all of that. “Fail” is one of my three words. It’s not that I’m planning to fail on purpose. It’s that failing to try is worse than not doing anything. 

I don’t expect I’ll ever banish fear of failure, but I want to be more accepting of it when it happens.

Second Word: Downsize

How many emails do you get that you never open? Too many? Me, too.

Have you bought books that remain unread? Downloaded ebooks and whitepapers never opened? Online courses that never got past lesson 2?

This year, I’m downsizing from too many email subscriptions and the urge to buy a book that looks interesting even though I haven’t the time to read it. And I’m not sure I want to mention my obsession with online courses and shiny-object software.

I’ve purchased and subscribed to all of these things with the best of intentions. But now, many newsletters, books and courses are gathering virtual dust. As with any clutter, it’s becoming oppressive. 

By the end of 2023, I will have trimmed my email subscriptions and canceled a slew of marketing emails. 

It will give me more time to read (and find) what I actually want to read and make my inboxes less daunting.

And I’m planning to finish a few courses before buying anything else. Fewer books? That’s a tough one, but I’ll work on it.

Third Word: Visualize

Setting goals is one thing, but based on what I read and hear, visualizing takes goal-setting to a higher level.

This is among my three words because I need to relearn how to do this. As a teenager and young adult, it was much easier to slip into daydreams and think about what the future looked like. 

I won’t equate visualize with “manifest,” which in my mind suggests that merely thinking about something will make it come true. The subtle difference, to me at least, is that visualization helps imagine your life in the future, not just acquiring something or reaching a particular goal.

With some meditation guidance, I’ve tried visualization a few times recently. I need practice.

I have things to mull and visualize. I’ve set myself on a solopreneurship course for the next decade or so, and I’m also ready to start collecting Social Security. How will they mesh with other things I’d like to do? 

A question worth studying, and I hope visualization, downsizing, and accepting failures will guide me through 2023.